I have that song "Why does love always feel like a battlefield" crammed into and stuck, in my brain. I have no idea where I heard it, if that's even the name of the song, or who it's by. It's floating around like old memories you try to ignore but end up thinking about instead of the sweet ones floating around up there. I have no idea what image I'm trying to portray.
Anyway, that song is the epitome of terrible. I realize that there's little to no music out there these days that is completely original or unique. However, blatant rip offs are bizarre to me. I'm assuming the broad who sings it, didn't write it. It sounds carefully constructed to make preppy teenage girls ponder if the bloody fields of romance are worth it, only to change their minds in an instant as their boy crush floats by on a cloud of hormones. I'm pretty sure that if I was great at writing, I would veer in the direction of writing shitty rip off pop hits to sprinkle (like science) over the masses of assholes who think my shit is original.
Oh! Speaking of rip off songs.. the only dream I remember from last night was rad.
I was working at my cafe which seemed a little different than usual. I was behind the counter of a dimly lit tavern made out of wizardwood. Yes, my cafe was sentient. Already, this dream is awesome! As I mentioned, the tavern was dimly lit. It basically looked like how you'd picture any typical pirate hangout. Years of pirate, ale, and ocean air, had walking into the tavern, take your breath away. After a few breaths, the place felt like home, or so I remember telling some folk in my dream. Phil was in town with The Dudes. They were hanging out as I had Brett make their sandwiches. However, The Dudes didn't look like The Dudes. They were KISS. So, I'm sitting there at my counter, yelling apologies across the room to KISS (who were actually The Dudes) for having my ipod stuck on their shit. I'm incredibly embarrassed for playing their music while they're hanging in the tavern. Not to mention the fact that I can't stop leering at Gene Simmons (in full Demon makeup). For some reason I wasn't able to leave my counter so I just sat there observing everyone drink ale. Everyone had pints half full in their hands swashing them back and forth as they sang along to "Your Girl". They were all completely mechanical looking drawings resembling the pirate robots in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. Their mouths were flapping along in time and their arms were only capable of the one back and forth (cheersing each other) movement. It was PoftC ride meets Ralph Bakshi and I was happily soaking it all in from my perch. As I was trying to convince myself that it was finally my chance to turn off the ride (yes at this point it had turned into the ride) and go sit on Gene Simmons tongue, I woke up. Naturally, I was pissed off that it took me an entire dream to seduce "The Demon".
This brings me to my current crush on Gene Simmons. For years, I argued that Paul Stanley was the only attractive member of KISS. However, after tuning in to Gene Simmons reality show last week, I have changed my mind. I don't find him attractive but he did this twisty thing with his tongue at the Porn awards that I can't stop thinking about.
Amen.
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